Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Loosing

Today I watched a friend walk out of the building we had worked together for two years. He taught me most everything I knew about that place, kept me from putting my foot in my mouth, and general fuckupery.  I watched him walk out of the building knowing weeks in advance that this was going to happen.  And yet I didn't say a thing.

I'm not sure how I feel.  Just to make it all about me of course.  But that's what's on my mind so that's what I am putting down.

I am going to do everything I can to help him out.  Help him find a new job or something.  I just hope it's not my name who comes up next.  I like my new boss but I just know I can't trust him.  And I know that if the word comes from high there is nothing that will save me.  On top of that is the news another friend could be facing a cut from his job in another department due to the political in-fighting that I know all about but have to keep to  myself.  I'm not good at this.  I don't like secrets.  If it's between the truth and hiding something I am much more likely to go with the truth.  Sometimes I end up embarrassing myself but at least I know I'm honest with others.  Lies add up and I can't keep them straight.  I think I need to blow off some steam.  I am looking forward to this weekend in Atlanta.  I just hope I can keep a lid on things in order to keep my job.  But it's getting easier to find a reason to quit.  I hope they give me the raise soon.  At least my high morals don't apply to bribery.